Interestingly, the police chief in charge of what are passing for investigations is himself allegedly facing torture charges and other charges of falsifying the evidence in an earlier missing child case.   The mother concerned in that case managed to acquire multiple bruises, including two black eyes from "attempting suicide by throwing herself downstairs at the police station", says the accused police chief.  Unsurprisingly the mother confessed only retract the confession when finally allowed legal help.  She is now serving a 16 year prison sentence.

Needless to say, neither child nor body has been found.

One of this officer's colleagues, involved in the same case and charges, since retired, is now a correspondent for the Portuguese newspaper which seems to "leak" confidential police information at frequent intervals and always to spread unfounded smears against the McCanns.

Neither of these officers would be allowed to be involved in any case, let alone a very similar one, in the UK.  They should have been suspended but standards appear to differ between the two countries.

Let us have a look, now, at some of the theories leaked by this amazingly oafish police force.

Well, having blundered in the early stages of the investigation, allowing Maddie's presumed abductors to spirit her through the Spanish-Portuguese border - to name but one supreme folly - the police have decided that Maddie's parents, with or without the help of all their friends, either murdered or accidentally killed her during or before the time of her abduction whilst they were all having dinner a short distance away.   At first it was implied that she was drugged with injected sedatives and, more recently with tablets.

As they have no evidence for either they cannot make their minds up which.

Let me help them.

Dr McCann is a cardiologist presumably with an expert knowledge of the pharmacopoeia.   He is also unlikely to carry syringes and needles through airport security - nor would they be needed.   No English doctor would administer any "sedative" to a child, especially his own.  As for tablets, there are no tablets in a paediatric dosage and he would be aware of the dangers of overdosing a four year old child with adult tablets.  Paracetamol may have been carried but that kills slowly over a days or so in overdose.

Or is this buffoon of an officer thinking that Dr McCann brought Maddie on the family holiday with a group of friends with no other intention than to murder her?

Much play has been made of supposed blood stains found in the apartment.  If, as the Portuguese seem to be implying Maddie was killed by a deliberate or accidental overdose of "sedative" from what cause would there be blood around the flat?  In any case, the British forensic scientists have determined that the stains were not Maddie's blood.

However, let us continue with the Portuguese fantasy.

Having killed her, the McCanns apparently continued their meal whilst transporting her body elsewhere without being seen by any witnesses or without their absence being noted.   Obviously, say the police, one or more or even all the friends conspired to help.  All this, remember, without a shred of evidence.

Then, according to the Portuguese police, the leaks say, Mrs McCann made some incriminating entry in her diary and Dr McCann apparently blogged about it on the web.   Again, none of that nasty, inconvenient stuff called proof. for the theory.

The McCanns, we are asked to believe, left Maddie's body in its secret place for a month before removing it to some other place.   We know that is what the best of Portuguese police think because they claim to have found forensic evidence in a car which the family hired over a month after Maddie's disappearance.  Only, the "evidence" has proved not to be Maddie's DNA.

However, let us think about the concealment of a 4-year old child's body for a month in summer in Portugal.

One theory is that they took their child's body to an area of scrubland, dug a shallow grave and left her - all without being seen by a single telephoto lens, TV camera or reporter.  The trouble with this cock-brained postulation is that the area in question is plagued by feral dogs - and, of course, it was summer.   I hope the McCanns will forgive me being blunt but pathologically things happen to animal and human bodies after death.  Even more so in a hot climate.  That is why some religions allow for immediate, same day burial - and not in shallow graves, either.  

In addition to that, it is highly likely that the hungry, feral dogs would have, to say the least, "disturbed" the body during the month.

By the way, where did they obtain the shovels for this exercise?  And where are they now?

We are then asked to believe that Maddie's parents and friends returned to the body of their child, in whatever disgusting condition it was in, and calmly put it in the boot of the car they had hired a month after her disappearance.   They then, the leaks say, took it down to a British boat in the harbour and persuaded the owner to take them and Maddie out to sea to finally dispose of her.   "We will never find her body" says Plod, preparing the ground for himself.   But, my God, they should have found more than a couple of hairs and a microscopic trace of body fluids in the boots of the car and the cadaver-hunting dogs should have gone beserk.

When will the white coats come to pick up this somewhat deluded police officer?

We have yet to hear the following theory.  That the family changed apartments to one with a conveniently large deep freeze where they kept the body for a month whilst living their lives around it.  As there has been no "revelation" about this in the week or so since the McCanns returned to the UK it must be assumed that any such freezer had it existed contained no forensic evidence.   On the other hand, the McCanns could have buried that in a shallow grave and then dumped it in the sea, too.  Much more likely is that Clewsoe never gave it a thought.

A little while after that paragraph was written the oafs of this part-time police force decide that Madeleine had been kept in a fridge or various fridges, from time to time, before her body was removed, under the eyes of their operatives and the world police.  Where, this author wonders, is there a holiday apartment with a fridge large enough to hold a 4-year old child's body.   It is for sure that the police have yet to find one.

In any case, where was the body before the family moved to the new flat - in the steaming heat of a Portuguese summer?

And all this with the eyes and lenses of the world following their every move - and those of their friends.

I have not said anything about the effect on the devoted parents of Maddie of carrying out any of these hare-brained theories , yet they would be obvious to any staring camera.

The Portuguese investigating  team are rapidly becoming an embarrassment to themselves, their force and their country yet there seems little doubt that they will malignly pursue their present course if only to hide their own serial incompetence.

A final word.   Well done, Richard Branson, for your strong support to the family.  Given whilst other, far lesser mortals, weaken.

Meantime, the search must continue.

The latest accusation, (1 October 2007), leaked to the press by the floundering Portuguese goons, is that Maddy was not poisoned by her mother but fell down the apartment steps.  The family and all their friends then conspired to hide the body for fear of a manslaughter charge.   About this they are certain.

The chief goon was sacked today (3/10/07) for an outburst against the British police and the McCanns.  He will be no loss to the investigation being under investigation himself for matters relating to a similar case to the Maddy case.  However, the world can expect even more vindictive leaks to the Portuguese press.

(3/10/07)