Exam overload – Samaritans offers support to stressed out students

  Exams and waiting for exam results can bring on a unique kind of stress – for students and parents or guardians Samaritans is on hand to offer 24 hour completely confidential emotional support. Samaritans volunteers don’t give advice, they listen without judging.

To combat exam stress Samaritans has some practical tips on information pages to be found at http://www.samaritans.org/talk/exams/results.shtm

Panic, anxiety, fear about the future, guilt and despair are just some of the feelings students might be going through. Anyone coping with this stressful time needs a great deal of emotional support, but asking for help is not always easy. Without anyone to confide in, stress, anxiety and fear can become unbearable.

High expectations and pressure from parents, teachers or friends can push students to the brink, particularly when they feel their results don’t quite meet those expectations. Learning how to recognise when they’re under stress is one of the first steps towards dealing with it.

If anyone would like to talk in confidence to a trained Samaritans volunteer they can contact us in complete confidence through a variety of means – by phone, email, text, face to face or written correspondence.

The signs of exam stress:

  Do you have any of the following symptoms?  

Lack of sleep

Loss of appetite or irregular eating
Panic attacks and difficulty breathing

Tight, knotty feelings in your stomach
Low energy and lack of concentration
Loss of interest in things around you

Mood swings

Feeling generally unwell or unable to relax

'Karen’ explains how stressed she felt while waiting for her exam results:

"I wasn't speaking to my parents, I had all these powerful emotions inside of me that I couldn't bring myself to talk to my friends about. I felt like I was being destroyed by what was going on inside of me. I was just at the end of my line. I didn't know where to go, what to do, I thought I'd gone insane, I just wanted some peace. The only way I thought I could get it was by topping myself. I was totally messed up, out of control. If I hadn't rung Samaritans and got help I think I might have done the most stupid thing that anyone could ever do."

Tips to help you get through the tough exam period:

·          Talk to someone you can trust, whether that is a friend, teacher or relative or a Samaritans volunteer.

·          Eat healthy food regularly and try to eat something before the exam to keep your energy and concentration levels up.

·          Get exercise - walking, running, dancing or anything that gets those happy endorphins working in your body.

·          Get a reasonable amount of sleep; don’t be tempted to stay up late cramming last minute revision .

Why does talking help?

Talking openly about how you really feel can be like opening a door. Talking puts you back in control and reveals the choices you have. Many people feel pressured into hiding their feelings out of embarrassment or concern, not wanting to burden family or friends. But hiding under a calm exterior only saves the problem for later and stress can build up until it becomes unbearable. Don’t leave it that long. Remember your emotional health is very important and Samaritans is there to help whatever time of the day or night.

‘ Gary ’ describes how talking to a Samaritans volunteer helped him:

"I'd like to say how great Samaritans is. I recently phoned them and the bloke I talked to was really calm and friendly. He gave me the time that I needed to say difficult things and he called me back so that the call wouldn't appear on the itemised phone bill. No one there could magically make my life better and totally happy, but talking really did help.

People reading this who are depressed might not believe that; I know because I was the same. But I'd like to say give it a try - it can't make things worse can it? I also know that there will always be someone at the end of the phone."

You can call Samaritans 24 hours a day on 08457 90 90 90 to talk through stress, depression or anxiety, in total confidence. You can also e-mail us at jo@samaritans.org or drop into your local branch to see someone face to face. If you know someone in distress, encouraging them to phone or e-mail Samaritans will help them take their first step.

Tips for parents

Look out for the signs of stress.

As a parent, of course you want your child to do well in their exams and get brilliant results. But you also, of course, want them to get through the experience. Very few people take their own lives because of their exam results, but for some the stress experienced can seem difficult to cope with.

What can you do to make sure that your child is coping?

Begin by keeping a careful eye out for specific signs of stress - these are typical:

·          Physical symptoms, such as sleeping or eating more or less than usual

·          Mental symptoms, such as loss of concentration and interest

·          Emotional symptoms such as tears, tantrums, panic attacks

·          Addictive symptoms, such as excessive drinking or smoking

·          Self deprecating comments: "I know I'll never pass... John's much brighter than me..."

·          Calls for help such as 'hanging round' seeming to want to talk.

Any one of these signs of stress should alert you that there's a problem - several signs and alarm bells should be ringing. And be aware that it's not just the hard workers and high achievers who get stressed out. Students with a more moderate track record may be the ones who get most upset because they want to achieve and fear they can't.

Once you suspect that your child is stressed, you'll obviously want to do all you can to reduce that stress. Practical support - like making sure they eat well, sleep enough, and get some exercise - may be difficult to enforce but will make a difference.

Emotional support too is vital. If a young person seems upset or snappy, don't necessarily rush in to calm them down, giving the impression that they are wrong to feel what they are feeling. The best thing by far is simply to listen - to allow and encourage them to express their worries and fears. Don't feel you have to offer advice or guidance - what they most need, and what will be of most help, is simply space - to talk, to cry, or simply to sit quietly and be.

There may come a point, though, when what a young person needs is one step on from the family support you're offering. Samaritans is always there to offer support and there are volunteers on hand at any time of the day or night.

The final and crucial thing to remember, however, is that your attitude will dictate your child's emotions. If you panic, blame or otherwise pressure, then your child's stress will be all the greater. Because, essentially, what children need to know is that they are accepted and valued for their efforts as much as for their achievements, for whether they try rather than whether they succeed. That way they can start to accept themselves, feel good about themselves - and then mysteriously the stress they are under will begin to drop away. (And long term, they will almost certainly succeed more in the future!)

In short, the best message you can give your children is: "If you've done your best, that's all I can ask. Whatever your results are, I'll still love you." Susan Quilliam, agony aunt FHM

Based on What To Do When You Really Want To Help But Don't Know How, by Susan Quilliam, published by Transformation Press. Copies available by ringing Vine House Distribution on 01825 723398, email: sales@vinehouseuk.co.uk or fax: 01825-724188

 (29/5/07)